A chubby old lady just fell in the Wal-Mart parking lot. She was wearing white socks and pink flip flops. The contents of her purse spilled all around her. She sat up, and started putting stuff back in her purse. Then a cute young man came over to help her. He handed her a matchbox car and a handful of change.
In his hand he was holding a tattered semi-opened tampon. She started laughing. He started laughing. He said, "I'm sorry." She said, " Are you gonna give me that tampon or do you need it?" The old chubby lady was me...Note to self: Don't wear flip flops and socks...oh, and stop going to Wal-Mart ... double oh, take tampons from 1996 out of purse. #FACEPALM
P.S. I also shoved this random Mussolini Medallion in my purse before the young man saw it. The last thing you want to be is a communist in Oklahoma...that's almost as bad as being a democrat.
Hahaha oh, this was hilarious! I was wondering where you got the pic!
ReplyDeleteI like to think of it as some sort of high art!!!!
DeleteMy Granny always swore we'd break our necks by wearing those d*** flip flops!
ReplyDeleteFlip flops...I can't even walk in sneakers!!!
DeleteThe tampon part was just too much. I have about half a dozen in mine. If I was ever forced, in a pinch, to use one, I for sure would go into immediated Toxic Shock. So funny!
ReplyDeleteGirl, I'm sure I'd have toxic shock, too! I was soooooooooo embarrassed.
DeleteHilarious!I have socks that have the big toe separated from the rest of the toes so I can wear flops on chilly days in comfort. They were made for wearing Japanese "geta" clogs, but they work for flops!
ReplyDeleteSo, what's up with the Mussolini medallion anyway?
ReplyDeleteHi there! I just saw your op-ed piece regarding online anonymity correlating to hate speech. It was a great piece. Thanks for writing it.
ReplyDeleteI'm from Tulsa, too, born and raised. I was gone for 10+ years and have recently come back home to work and be near family.
The recent crimes in Tulsa saddened and sickened me. You would think that, by now, we could all realize we're in this life together and quit letting hatred and racism tear us apart. Ugh.
A friend posted something recently that I thought was good: Stop being Christian and start being Christ-like.
Looking forward to reading your blog!
I love the photo of the pink flip flops and the white socks, so cute and feminine even though people frown upon them.
ReplyDeleteJust when I think you can't be any funnier...there you go again!
ReplyDeleteSheryl