Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Black History Month: Justin Timberlake

I'm not even going to attempt to write anything deep or meaningful about Justin Timberlake. Why? When it comes to Timberlake, I am that crying girl on American Idol when Sanjaya was performing. I'm just a ball of snot and Grape Lip Smackers when I watch Justin on TV. I totally understand people who trampled each other to death to see David Cassidy. Blood lust thy name is Timberlake.

Justin makes me giddy. I love him sooo muuucchhh! *Holly Hunter voice from Raising Arizona.* This isn't news. The bible suggests that when you become a grown-up you should put away childish things. I listened to the bible, and in my garage there is a Justin Timberlake doll. Doll Justin calls me from his itty bitty Mattel cell phone when I sleep..."Tange, let me out of this box. Play with me. Make me dance-fight with your Jordan Knight doll...." I rebuke Doll Justin.

Black people admit that JT has talent. But, we are split on accepting him after the Janet Jackson Super Bowl fiasco. He kinda hung her out to dry, and Janet was pretty hurt by it all according to my cousin. I talked to all the Black People in the whole world about it, and we are evenly split. So, until we can get it resolved as a community, I'm gonna go rouge and declare Justin Timberlake "The Blackest White Man in America."

"Cry Me A River" is a beautiful revenge ballad. Justin's vocals are a sonic boom of soul. The falsetto, the strings, the Timbaland...it is my favorite JT song.

Until The End of Time is a close second and is by far the best example of R&B done white:

Oh, here's Crying Girl...this would be me, if I ever met Timberlake:


  1. "I talked to all the Black People in the whole world about it, and we are evenly split."
    WHY you don't have a syndicated column I will never know. You are too funny and talented to hide your light in cyberspace!

    1. Thank you, Sheryl! I'm working on it, but it's kinda hard to get noticed when you stand in the shadow of Garth Brooks...the most famous person in my town.

  2. Garth Shmarth. It's all because it's his 50th birthday, right? Something tells me you're not one to stand in any person's shadow.
    I got my newspaper column by telling the editor he needed me. lol Best thing I ever did. Can't wait to someday see your name in the NY Times.

  3. I love this!!! You've got some SERIOUS talent. And JT ... H.O.T!!!